Nulla In Caput Pax ...

Friendly message

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:33:05 GMT

You.

Yes, you.

You're a shitty friend. Just gotta say that.

I still feel bitter. Just, somedays, sometimes, I'll look at something or remember something and I'll feel really bitter. Today it was facebook. I saw your profile and had to click it and I saw who you are and signs of who you used to be, and I just started feeling bitter.

I'm a coward, so I'll probably never actually say any of this to your face, but I'm leaving this public. Maybe someday you'll come across it. Doubtful you'd make any efforts to say anything to me though, since you're a coward too, probably the biggest I've ever known.

You're a shitty friend, that's all there is to it. I spent so much time and money and emotion on you and you just threw it away or ignored it. I came to visit you twice. That second time? I don't know if you even cared. It's so hard to tell. I remember when Diane called and you only talked to her for a minute and said you were busy and hung up. When you went to Seattle you said I could call you, and I did and the same thing happened. I knew what you thought about Diane, and I was hurt that I would be treated the same way.

After you said you'd do all you could to make sure I could live there with you. After all the promises and forgotten efforts. I notice the little things, you know. I remember the little things, I cherish them. I don't know if you knew that or not, but at least I have a few memories I can still smile about.

Because the truth is, you WERE a good friend. I thought we could be best friends. I thought we WERE best friends. I still have no idea what happened that changed everything, but I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that deep down, you really are a shitty friend. And you're lazy.

That's probably the center of it all. Lazy.

Yeah, we're miles and miles apart and we only have a few methods of communication and we can't see each other as much as we'd like, and less than that. But come on. I write letters, I send gifts, I make the effort to save up and plan a visit. Jesus Christ. Come on.

I don't know. Maybe I am delusional. At least you could have said something. You just make no effort at all.

You know, I hope you have a good life. Really. Go for it, get everything you want, not that your expectations are very high, no doubt. Maybe I AM delusional. But I have a fucking soul.

I hope you have a good life. But I also hope that maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe a year or two from now, you'll wake up in the middle of the night with something on your mind, and you won't be able to pinpoint it or forget it or go back to sleep for days and then you'll realize it's me. I hope you think of me and remember me and I hope you have things to smile about, but I also hope you realize what a shitty thing you did to me, and I hope you feel guilty as hell.

Thanks.

Sa.

Remy update!

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 06:47:11 GMT

Remy got a collar! It looks so handsome on him, and he's grown so much! I can tell he still has a lot of growing to do though, because he's got SERIOUS extra skin, haha. Like, you know how cats have scruffs? He's got a giant scruff, PLUS scruff all down his back. It's like he's a shar pei or something! Whatever those flappy dogs are called.

Anyway, he's just four months old, so he still has another couple at least to get to full size. I'm wondering if he'll get as big as Hamlet?

Sa.

Oh, by the way, going back to Three Rivers tomorrow to get my hair fixed. Reports later!

Poem night

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:51:54 GMT

I really do like writing poetry, and I haven't in a while, just because normally when I write poetry, I'm having some kind of mental episode. And I haven't had room for any of those lately, thanks to certain changes in my life.

But maybe I can still try to get some work done. Try to clarify a little bit more.

Let's see if this is any good.

"I think about you constantly"
Says the words
Pressed one at a time with the sent of ammonia and grief
Popped pocket locket up
(gyaku paka)
I'm hysteric to be your honey
Here, take all my money
Joking- joking- but the truth- truth-
"I think about you all the time"
So you're guilty
I see your sins stripes red white
Blue
Boohoo
Mooving (in circles?) crazy loops updownupdown
Why did I love your hair?
I have hair too.
Hers is worse
I like rhyming that with 'hearse'
Hit me. .b.u.l.l.e.t.
"I think about you sometimes"
Hallucinations
Mass-produced sensations
Breaking all creations
Faking your temptations
I KNOW you remember
Die a tribe
Ours was young
OH that's rich
(BITCH)

"I thought about you today"
...

The tale of the ink!

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 17:34:03 GMT

As some of you may know, I got my first tattoo while I was in Texas. Here's my experience, and pictures. Side note- I'm eating oreos and coffee right now and holy shit, best combination ever.

Onward and upward.

We went to a place called Ink Inc, where I'd also received all my piercings. Very good place. We checked in and stuff and I met the guy who would do my tattoo. His name was Crenshaw, and as probably expected, he had a ton of tattoos and piercings. I don't know if you can tell in any of the pictures, but he had the inside of his nose gauged. So I told him exactly what I wanted and he sketched it out for me and got everything ready.

It was at this time that I started getting the nerves and everything. But they cleared up pretty damn fast. Because Crenshaw put on a really sweet radio station and the first song was Closer by NIN. Nerves disappeared. The next song was Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd, so that was even better. So he transferred the design to my shoulder.

And he got to work.

It didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. I was perfectly fine with it. Of course it was painful, but not overwhelmingly, and I only cursed minimally, haha. He said for my first time, I did fantastic. I could tell what part of my back he was working on and what part of the bird it was, too. He was surprised.

This is partway through the outline. I'm pretty sure at this point, I started my only freaking out, and it was just because Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith was playing. Crenshaw got up to turn it up for me. It made me feel special.

Outline!

The beginning of shading. Look at all that ink! It gets worse, haha.

Very very shaded. Also seen from the mirror.

Bring on the color. Lots and lots of ink. All over me. And my bra.

Always the piisu.

The finished product! Except for all the red around it, and the blood in the eye, this is what it looks like now. Hasn't faded at all, really. The whole thing took two hours. I'm really happy with it. I feel like this completes the physical me. No more piercings, no more tattoos. No more radical changes. This is me. This bird, the purple martin, symbolizes my father and my home. They're always with me.

More pictures sooner or later. Promise.

Sa.

Origami star tutorial!

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:47:19 GMT

Because I'm bored and these things are my new addiction.

Learn to make them in... some easy steps! Let's go!!

First, I must explain what you start with. All it is...

...is a strip of paper. This one is about, hmm... half an inch wide? And 11 inches long. It just came from a template sheet with all kinds of little designs. But really, you can use any color, any design. This one says 'Deery-Lou', which is some Japanese deer thing, so I'm told. Anyway, let's begin.

Start by flipping the strip over.

Obvious picture FTW! What you do now is take your starting end... If the design is printed across the entire strip, start on either end. Most of the time you'll have a bit of blank space, which is where you'll start in that case. So, take that end and hold it toward yourself, then bring the bottom up and into a small loop, about an inch wide is good.

I like to leave a tiny bit of the end sticking out, so I can pull it in the following steps. What you want to do now is take the top end and thread it down through your loop to begin tying a sort of knot.

Like this. Pull it taut, but make sure both ends are nice and secure, forming a tight, flat knot. Not too tight, as you don't want to squash the two ends sticking out. That will distort your star. Here's a good example:

And here's a bad example:

Get it? This part is important and a tiny bit tricky, but it forms the foundation of the star, so make sure it's good! Next, you're going to want to flip the entire strip over and fold in the short bit that's sticking out.

Like so. Sometimes it will be too long, and will extend a bit past the edge of the knot, so just tear it off a little, that part will end up hidden anyway. Now you're going to fold the long bit across the knot, like this:

The fold should go naturally, like folding a flag into a triangle. It only has one direction to go. Again, make sure it's tight and crease it. Then flip the entire thing again and fold down the long bit once more.

Lalala. Keep doing this. The long bit is going to get shorter and shorter and your little pentagon is going to get thicker and thicker. After a few folds, you'll end up with something like this:

To me, this is the most frustrating part, so listen up. See the white outline shaped like a V? The other white outline, the short bit sticking out, is going to tuck into that V.

Kind of like this. You're going to want to get both corners of the little tab in, and it might take a bit of maneuvering, especially if the pentagon is really tight like I said to make it... hah. Like before, if this part is too long, rip off a little bit. Likewise, if it's too short to tuck in completely, back up one fold and rip off a bit to make it fit. You'll get it, it's pretty much common sense. Anyway, once it's tucked it, here's what you've got:

Bam. Plain old pentagon. To make it into the star shape, all you do is pinch the edges, like this:

Use your fingernails to give it sharp edges, but don't squash it. Repeat this on all sides, and voila!

It's your very own little star!

Now make a ton of them, and show me! These are going to someone special~ <3 Give them to your friends, they'll be thrilled, and then they'll go 'What am I supposed to do with this now?' No, really, they're cute and fun and you can make them any color or size.

Hope you have fun!

Sa

Pass it on

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 04:06:03 GMT

Sa.

PLEASE HELP ME

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 18:22:21 GMT

I kinda need money. So I'm gonna be selling some stuff. First up is my old dresses. When I say old, I don't mean like, sitting in the attic for decades. I've seriously only worn these things like, 1-3 times. Shall we begin?

First...

I wore this for my theatre banquet in 10th or 11th grade, and then once more for a short little scene in a movie I was making. It's not damaged in any way, other than some of the glitter on the design may have fallen off. The size is just 'Large', but I'm not a large person, so I'm sure it would fit a lot of different shapes and sizes. So, very cute fairy-like dress.

Next...

I wore this a grand total of one time. For my choir banquet in 10th or 11th grade. I am very fond of this dress. It's not damaged in any way. It's nice and long and fluffy, with netting underneath to make it fuller. The size is '5/6'. I was about 5'3'' 120 lbs when I wore it, if that gives you any idea of the sizing, and it was very long on me. I really would love to see this dress put to good use and making someone else happy.

Next...

I wore this one about twice. Once for my prom, and another time for Halloween, just answering the door. I bought it from a thrift shop, so I can't tell you the history of it, who else wore it, etc, but I can say that I've taken good care of it and it's not damaged in any way. It's sort of a corset top, and it's long and full, with netting underneath. The size is '3/4'. I love this dress too, and would also like to see it go to a good home.

Last...

I wore this to my brother's graduation, my own graduation, and for a photoshoot with a friend. It's in good condition, with no damage. The size is '3/4' and it goes down to about the knees, depending on your height. Not too classy, but still nice and functional.

If you or someone you know is at all interested, please do not hesitate to leave a comment here (they will be screened) or send me a private message. I can answer any questions you might have about sizing, the styles, the condition, etc. I haven't posted any prices, so that is of course open for negotiation. I'll try to be fair!

Thank you so much for looking!

Sa.

snorts

Wed, 21 May 2008 03:58:08 GMT

Any Harry Potter fan who has watched a Harry Potter movie and gone 'Jeez, Harry, emo much?'...

...watch this.

Sa.

NEWSFLASH: I FEEL FANTASTIC

Mon, 19 May 2008 23:05:08 GMT

Let me walk you through this wonderful day so far.

Work was nice, for once. Not too stressful or busy or fucked up in any way. We got produce this morning, for the first time in like, a week? Heh. And Jose was there, and he was in a good mood the whole time. And that makes me happy. He came in with an energy drink and for some reason it made me want one too, so when I was out on a delivery, I stopped by QT and got one, a blue full throttle, because he said it was good. And it was. It tasted like sunshine dust and it made me move very fast, haha. At one point, Jose was digging in the topping bar and muttering about how everything was misplaced in there and he was just bitching and moaning and 'Who the fuck did this shit?!' so I looked at him and said 'Gnomes'. And without missing a beat, he said 'DAMN those gnomes. Damn them and their low airfare.' And I smiled for a million years. Then later, I got some dough out of the dough bowl (it weighs like, 45 pounds, but is much harder to lift and carry than say, a box weighing the same amount, because it is dough and it likes to be mushy and droopy and difficult. Anyway) and I had to bend way down to do it, and my pants were definitely falling down, and Jose was behind me, and a few minutes later when I was cutting it he asked me 'Do you EVER wear drawers?' And I looked at him and said '...yes.' And he just laughed. And I laughed. And when he was going for a smoke break, he put his hand on my shoulder and said 'I'm gonna go smoke some drugs.' He never says it the same way twice. And that makes me happy too. And we listened to salsa music. Happy. And Jerel and I quoted Eddie Izzard to each other all day. Happy happy.

So after work, I go home for a bit, change, and go back out to see if I can get my wireless to work at Java and Cha. I ordered a medium and got a large. Plus. My wireless didn't work. Minus. When the guy brought me my drink, he looked at my laptop and saw the Gazette sticker on the back of it and he was like *GASP* 'Oh my god, the GazettE rocks.' And I looked at him and said 'Yes. Yes they do.' And I just sat there going 'Wow.' I've never experienced that before. Nobody's ever been like 'Oh yeah, I know that Japanese band, and I enjoy listening to them.' It made me happy. Oh yeah, PLUS.

So I got back in my car and drove to Target, where I purchased 70 dollars in merchandise. Minus. However, I pretty much need all of it, but the stuff I don't need I can take back tomorrow. Eh. I drove to Kroger to apply at the Starbucks there, which is actually hiring, and I also needed bananas, but after spending that much dough, I thought I'd just get the application only. But the minute I stepped foot into the store, my phone rang.

And it was the Starbucks I applied at last week.

I HAVE AN INTERVIEW ON FRIDAY.

NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I. HAVE AN INTERVIEW. AT A PLACE THAT MIGHT WANT TO HIRE ME. AND PAY ME MORE. AND NOT TREAT ME LIKE SHIT.

I hung up the phone, turned around, got back in my car, and cried all the way home. I cried like Will Smith did at the end of The Pursuit of Happyness. And I listened to Strawberry Letter 23 as I plunged down the hill on Los Rios, through the golf course, and I smiled so huge and cried.

I fucking needed this.

And here I am, relaxing at home, getting pumped for some baseball. And I'm going to upload Strawberry Letter 23 for you, because it's a dazzling song, and it makes me happy and I want it to make you happy.

Hello, my love
I heard a kiss from you
Red magic satin playing near, too

All through the morning rain
I gaze - the sun doesn't shine -
Rainbows and waterfalls run through my mind

In the garden - I see west
Purple shower, bells and tea
Orange birds and river cousins dressed in green

Pretty music I hear - so happy
And loud - blue flower echo
From a cherry cloud

Feel sunshine sparkle pink and blue
Playgrounds will laugh
if you try to ask
Is it cool?, is it cool?

If you arrive and don't see me
I'm going to be with my baby
I am free - flying in her arms, over the sea

Stained window, yellow candy screen
See speakers of kite - with velvet roses diggin' freedom flight

A present from you - Strawberry letter 22
The music plays, I sit in for a few

Ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...

A present from you - Strawberry letter 22
The music plays, I sit in for a few

Ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...

Download, please.

Sa.

PS: Go Rangers.

A Poem A Day: I

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 06:42:03 GMT

I felt poetic today, and it's been a while since I've written a poem, so I thought I'd do a poem a day for a week and post them here. I just had a lot of images in my head today and I wanted to put them together and share them.

Here is number one.

Madness, Be My Blanket

S
H
E
She
Yes.
There she is
Isssss
She is NOW
NEVER AND EVER
Fever and after
February
Faucet
Facade
G.O.D.
Ring around the rosie
My eyes are fucked
My fingers are worse
Pick up these words
And put them in a hearse
Mutter and mourn
Butter and churn
Fat faggot
F again
Moving on...
To she.
Touche!
Shit, there I go again.
Ocus.
I Shut
My Eyes
...
Gold.
Orever.
Oh, I'm drowning
Look, it's really happening!
Mmmy hands, take them please...
What happens next?
I don't want to see the worms
M
Ad
Nes
SSSS
Be my blanket

Feel free to leave constructive criticism?

Sa.

Oddly enough, that had nothing to do with the images I thought of today.

Tough

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:50:33 GMT

It was 'Twofer Tuesday' at the piercing place. How could I resist?

My mom hates it.

Sa.

You know what? I'm not done yet. I'm really fucking angry.

I wasn't going to show her. I was going to be immature and hide it. But I faced her and showed her and she made this disgusted face and said 'Wonderful. This is why I don't like you hanging out with Robin.' She thinks I'm Robin's little puppet and I do whatever she wants me to do and she feeds me ideas and manipulates me and is generally a bad influence. I'm not going to lie, that was me at one time. But not anymore. That's fucking bullshit and it pisses me off that my OWN MOTHER does not trust me, because of things I have done in the past. I have done nothing but obeyed her and made good decisions and stayed out of trouble and grown up safe and sound. Do I deserve this kind of treatment? I fucking hate it here, I am ready to get OUT as soon as possible, but it is extremely tiring waking up each day and hating life. I NEED people, and the only one who seems to care about me even a little is Robin, the person who betrayed me and lied to me and ignores me as soon as there is a boy in the room. I realized today what a waste of time it is being around her, and if I was strong enough, I'd tell her I never wanted to see her again. But I am so damn lonely and so damn sad, and it HURTS ME that nobody here cares. I'm expected to be strong and happy with my life. How? Tell me how I'm supposed to do that. I am miserable. And it's only going to get worse.

I said to her, firmly, 'No, this was my decision.' And she has the NERVE to scoff at me and say 'No it wasn't.'

FUCK THAT.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ANYMORE?

I want to run away.

Lots to say.

Too much to say.

Too much to feel.

I need a hole in my skull.

Sa. Again. XP

303

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 06:03:33 GMT

That's right, I'm back and I want youuuuuuu!!!!

...ah-hem.

First, memes:

Type your answers in GoogleImages and pick an image off the first page.

1. The age you will be on your next birthday.

2. A place to which you’d like to travel

3. Your favorite place

4. Your favorite object

I named my iPod Osiris.

5. Your favorite food

6. Your favorite animal

My favorite animal is my cat Hamlet. Haha.

7. Your favorite color

8. The town in which you were born

9. The town in which you live

10. The name of a past pet

11. The first name of a past love

12. Your nickname/screen name

Juna?

13. Your first name

14. Your middle name

15. Your last name

16. A bad habit of yours

I got this for 'biting my lips' haha.

17. Your first job

Pizza delivery, not sky diving.

18. Your grandmother's name

NOT my grandmother.

19. Your major in college

This pic is called 'undecided'. Fancy that!

Second meme:

Comment and I'll:

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.

Ok then, that's it for memes. Whew.

I got two different kinds of mochi at the place. One was cheaper than the other and they were also different colors, so I wanted to see if there was a difference. I like the cheaper kind better! And the colors don't seem to mean anything. I want to go get morrreeeeee...

Ok, time to show you my haircut. This isn't the best pic, but it's all I have at the moment. Later today, I will floof it all out and put on makeup and boy entrancers and eye jewels and camwhore it up. But for now, all you get is this:

I still think it looks oshare.

I ordered this coat on Target.com and I am anticipating getting it either today or tomorrow. I want to do a photoshoot with it ASAP. It has faux fur around the hood, which is detachable, and the sleeves are also zip-off, so it doubles as a vest! Too cool!

Currently raiding my closet looking for oshare type stuff...

HOLY SHIT I LOOK GOOD. For once in my life, I was very photogenic today. Brace yourself for a GIGANTIC picspam:

We begin with... Hamlet, actually. I bought him a sweater because I thought he wouldn't mind wearing it. Hah, wrong. He didn't yell or anything, but he still looked ultra pissed, despite the fact that the sweater made him look like a freakin teddy bear.

Honestly guys, I am madly in love with my cat. He's my sweetie.

Next up is my failed attempt at that thing they call oshare kei. I looked at some pics for reference before I started (literally) flinging stuff out of my closet, and I noticed these things:
- Layers.
- Not matching is perfectly okay, and in fact encouraged.
- Hats are often used.
- Make sure to have some kind of dangly stuff.
- Look boyish.
- A pinch of punk ties everything together.
- Retro type stuff is also good.

So here is what I came up with, please try not to vomit:

My legs look about 284729472118 miles long?

Here is what I am wearing: Black sports bra, camo tank, very old plaid shirt, ugly yellow and grey scarf, skinny green scarf, funky retro type plastic belt, cargo shorts, brown and orange skull socks, brown sneakers, cowboy hat, and here's the kicker... I also noticed in oshare kei, not to mention most visual kei in general, there is often a component of the outfit that sort of makes you go '...wtf?' A good example would be Ruki's stupid scissors in his newest look. You see them and go '...wtf?' right? Well my wtf factor for this outfit was the black and white striped glove hanging out of my pocket. Hahahaha.

So after that fandango, I put on some makeup and did my hair and wore something simple and took lots more pics. They all came out so damn good, I barely had to delete any. And by that I mean... I probably took about 70 pics and I ended up with 27. I'm usually ending up with about 10. So, please keep some tissues handy, because you will be needing them to plug up your bleeding nose:

I don't even look like myself!!!

One of my eye jewels went AWOL...

BAM.

Sensual ~~Red~~ Yellow Lights!

Spider Woman!

I love this one.

And this one!

Gun girl. Pop a cap.

I bent over, sprayed hair spray all over my hair, shook wildly, stood up, and took this picture.

Whoosh.

Who the hell is that?! That doesn't look remotely like me.

Close up of the eye magic. Took me forever to put those eyelashes on.

So enough of that, I didn't mean to hurt you with my ridiculous amounts of sexy.

I watched two movies at Robin's last night. The Reaping, which pretty much suuuuucked, and then this one called Bug, which was fantastic. I also rented The Contract. I have a personal connection to this movie. I wouldn't be interested if it weren't for the fact that my Communications Major Studies teacher from high school wrote it. Stephen Katz, ever heard of him? Haha, he used to write for A-Team. And he did a few low budget, straight to video things. He was a really cool guy. I say 'was' because he is now deceased. During my first semester of college, he died of cancer. He never got to see his movie, which he got six figures for writing. I'm glad I get to watch it though. I might cry.

So that was my day. I feel like I got something done, even though I totally didn't, haha. Nobody is online, so I might as well just post this, watch some more of my movie and go to bed. I get to sleep in 30 minutes tomorrow, joy!

Sa, BAM

296

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 04:15:24 GMT

Today at work was pretty crazy.

Something you should know about DoubleDave's pizza. We pride ourselves in that we make our dough daily, in the store. We don't get those frozen shells and just put stuff on them. No way, man. We measure out the water at the perfect temperature, mix the dough the perfect amount of time, and cut and roll all our dough by hand. So you could say that our dough mixer is equivalent to a blacksmith's anvil. As in, the blacksmith couldn't do shit without his anvil. We can't do shit without our dough mixer. Well today, I found a crack in the bottom of our dough bowl. Well, it wasn't exactly like that. See, I dumped the water in the bowl and dumped about a pound or two of dough mix into the water before I noticed the steady trickle of water leaking out the bottom. I was like *PANICPANIC* JOSEEEEE! *MOPMOP* JOSEEEEEEEEEEE! We ended up getting it welded later on in the afternoon, but we had used up almost all our dough. So today was a dough-making extravaganza. I also ran the buffet. John came in and was like 'Okay, Sarah, today you are running the buffet. Awesome.' and then he walked away. Later when I asked him how I did, he said 'Well, I barely had to do anything, so good.' Only it was slow, so we ended up with a whole rack of leftover pizza and just sent it through the oven and boxed it up and distributed it amongst ourselves. Anyway, I was large and in charge today. I told people to do stuff and by god they did stuff.

That's really about all I have to say today. Oh, Wednesday is Jose's birthday, and since he has that day off, I was going to bring him something tomorrow morning. If I can find the only type of ice cream he'll eat, I'll bring him that, but otherwise, I'll just pick him up a steak, bacon and egg burrito at Sonic, since he practically drools every time that commercial comes on. The ice cream he likes is a Ben and Jerry's called 'Chubby Hubby' I think, and it is vanilla malt swirled with caramel and fudge, with chocolate covered PRETZELS mixed in. GROSS.

The Cowboys won tonight. This puts them at 5 and 0. HELL YEAH. I don't even like football, but I would LOVE to see the 'Boys go to the Superbowl.

Baseball update. The four teams that are left are 1. Rockies 2. Diamondbacks 3. Red Sox 4. Indians. No Angels, hurrah! No Yankees either! But no Cubs... oh well. This should be interesting.

Anyway, time for bed. I need to catch up on my z's. "Did you make the zzzzz?" Hahahaha.

Sa, Large and in Charge

No FUCKING way

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 06:56:55 GMT

There was another roach in my room. HUGE. WTF.

276

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 04:25:31 GMT

A few things about today.

1. I found out I have dropped a pants size. When/how did that happen?!
2. I bought the best lip gloss I've ever had in my life. It's Rimmel London. It's not goopy or heavy or sticky or anything, it tastes good, and it lasts long!
3. I accidentally/purposefully flirted a lot with the boys at work today and very purposefully glared at Rose and called her names behind her back. She was a real bitch to me today.
4. Spitz finally came home and I gave him his pill and flea goo.
5. Seattle is now five games back. Damn.
6. I've had my Dir en grey playlist on repeat all day.

I don't feel like talking much. I'm in a relaxing mood.

Sa, Shrinking

Getting What You Want

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 06:12:43 GMT

GIRLS, BE AMBITIOUS.

Sa, Ambitious

256

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:47:25 GMT

I am in a really strange mood. I blame it on watching the movie Tideland, which was really fucking weird, but also strangely beautiful and without a doubt, incredibly interesting. Let's see what I can come up with tonight:

The feeling of my own hand against my face makes me feel not as alone.

I took off from Robin's house in my car, and went back to a Gazette song I had to skip when I drove her to the movie store. It was Juuyon Sai No Knife, or however you spell it. I raced down the hill and careened around the turn at the bottom and sped off down San Gabriel, throwing my head around, letting everything out, everything I had been holding in since I had to skip it. I drove fast and reckless and danced and tossed my head and drummed against the steering wheel as I drove through the night, down Ranch Estates, running over branches and clods of dirt in the street. I sped around a turn, grimacing theatrically, at the part around 1:47. I stopped at the stop sign at the bottom of the street to give my proper respects to the guitar solo, but at 2:21-:22, I was compelled to move on, and thus made my way onto my street, prowling along with the bass solo. ... How can anyone NOT like this music? No, I'm not feeling bitter. Not at all. Just a little lonely.

Egg is having a showdown with Minnie on my dresser. God, these CATS.

Tomorrow is double Friday. I gushed to Robin about Jose a bit today. Even though these things always turn out to be silly one-sided conversations, I somehow put ideas into my own head about what to do, where to go next. I decided that at some point, I should at least tell Jose that he is ~~a fox~~ attractive. I don't have to say anything else. I could just go 'You know, you're really quite attractive.' Then skip off. Not literally, that would seem weird. Why am I now thinking 'Have I ever skipped inside the Double Dave's building?'. Now tomorrow, I'm going to have to skip. Why do I do this to myself? Hahaha.

My arm looks pretty banged up because I was rubbing and picking at my poison ivy scabs during the entire movie. Ugh.

I'm going to have to go to bed in a few minutes. Tomorrow, I'm letting Diesta borrow the Bad Beginning. Hehe. Maybe now she'll remember to bring me that venison sausage. Ha, not really. But I hope she brings it at some point?

I have to download some songs. Mainly Hell's Bells (Aki's walk-to-the-mound song) and that Tim McGraw song that goes 'These are my people' and makes me grin proudly.

I also need to see some movies. I decided that I was just going to go ahead and buy Velvet Goldmine on the internet, since that seems to be the only way I'll ever be able to see it.

Egg just bonked Hammy on the head. I love Hammy so damn much. He has a collar and it jingles and he walks like a bear. He's my jingle bear.

OH, I finished Harry Potter today! I liked it, except for the epilogue, which we can all agree is tripe. Robin says there might be spinoffs, like with different heroes/heroines. I hope so.

Egg is so bonbon, she thinks she's like, queen of everything.

No one knows WHAT I'm talking about. I'm a little on the crazy side right now. So... bed?

Sa, Squirrel Butts Don't Glow

Quote:
"Maybe my brain needs a checkup."
Too true.

Damn, I left my last steroid pill for today in my car. Damn and thrice times damn. Oh well, that is one pill I will not have to swallow.

Egg is bonbon-ing all over my shoes.

Just to clear things up

Wed, 23 May 2007 17:45:43 GMT

I don't know why I do this sort of thing, but I guess I'm just the sort of person who wants everyone to be happy. I don't know why anybody this applies to would be here reading this, but just in case, I'd like to say something:

Why do you get so angry? Here you are saying 'oh lolz teh internet is serious business!' when you are fueling the controversy yourselves in a very immature way. In a perfect world, we would quietly go about our business and either agree or disagree without resorting to namecalling. This is obviously not a perfect world, and I'd just like to say that I am not going to apologize for anything I have done. I think I was civil, and I had a right to do what I did. I was trying to minimize the damage, but I knew there would be damage anyway. I meant for it to be a quiet warning, and instead all these flames erupted. But you know what? I honestly don't think this is going to change a thing. You know why? I just got 7+ requests to join the community. We will always have our loyal supporters, and those who are not loyal supporters aren't any of our business anyway. It's your choice and I totally respect that, but I start losing respect when crudeness emerges. We're not making people join, and we're certainly not making people stay in. Like I said, it's your choice. We're all fans, right? So in that sense, it's like we're brothers and sisters. We should support each other as well as the band we're supporting. I hate for so much anger to be associated with The GazettE and it DOES NOT have to be that way. It's ridiculous. When did music turn into this? I don't really know what else to say. I am not trying to create more drama at all. If I have your support, thank you, and if I do not, do what you want. I don't want anybody to feel guilty or anything, either. We're not about that. Gazette isn't about that. Let's all just try to enjoy what we love together, and if you have sand in your knickers... I don't know how to say this in a nicer way, but get over it. If you allow anger into your life and shut out happiness, that is entirely your decision. In short, I do not regret anything I've done, I would not change anything, and as always, I look forward to the future with a smiling face.

Sa.